Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Honest Scrap!

So, y'all may now, I'm a bit unawares of blogger etiquette... (I think it was like my second post...found, um...here).

But I do know this... I love winning blog awards! 

So, Stephani, at Writing Fuels My Soul gave me the Honest Scrap Award!  Woot! 

So, here are the rules...As part of receiving this wonderful Blog Award you are required to list 10 random things about yourself and then pass along this award to your 10 favorite bloggers.

1.  My fantasy job: soap opera actress and soap opera writer.  I adore Days of Our Lives.... and though I'm not hooked on any other soap, I can usually keep up w/ The Bold & The Beautiful, All My Children and One Life to Live via commercials.  I become emotionally invested in the DOOL and when talking to other DOOL fans I refer to charecters like real people...ie "That Chloe is such a whore.  She was married to Lucas and cheated w/ Daniel.  Now she's engaged to Daniel and cheating w/ Phillip.  Who is married to Melanie, who is Daniel's daughter.  So basically she's sleeping with her step-son-in-law.  Who used to be her boyf and then her uncle in law and then her brother in law.  Gross."  But what I really love about soaps?  Is when something that is actually plausible is going on in someone's life (say a rough time at work) something HUGE happens and makes everyone feel sorry for you. IE "I know you really suck ass at your job, but my God!  You just fainted and when rushed to the hospital it was revealed you have a rare genetic disorder.  So, it's not your fault you suck at work!"  That could come in handy is real life every now and again.
2.  I'm verbose.  See Random fact 1.
3. I got a text tonight "hey" from a number I didn't recognize.  I texted back "hey..."  Reply was "is this Nakoma."  Me: "nope, wrong number."  Not expecting a reply...but I got this "haha aiiight."  WTF?  Is there text etiquette I'm not aware of?  To text a response back to a wrong text number?  Not even an apology...  bizzarre-o.
4.  I'm secretly jealous of the hubs iphone.  But I begged for a blackberry and I got one (about 18 mo ago) and so I don't think I can possibly ask for an iphone for Mothers Day or our anny or my bday (all rapidly approaching...)  But if you talk to the hubs, you can drop a hint :)
5.  I think my husband has some awesome friends.  He has two really close friends that he has known for about 15 years and basically transitioned into adulthood with and really "grew up" with.  (Did I just end a sentence w/ a preposition?  Oops.)  But he has a really healthy relationship w/ these guys and I never worry when he is out w/ them (I don't really worry much about the hubs in general, though) and I like their wives and kids.  I think its good he has someone to hang w/ and go to college football games and nba games and with and retain his own identity.
6.  I basically grew up in libraries.  Love a librarian today.
7.  Despite the above I still totally regard In Touch weekly as something of literary merit.
8.  My fave people in the world?  My mom.  My dad.  My sister.  (Okay, obviously the hubs & the kids).  But my dad is funny and smart and is sorta quiet and sometimes his humor or his amazing insight just sneak up on you.  Sometimes my dad will take 45 min to tell a story and then you go home and two days later he calls you and picks up the story and 30 minutes in you're think "wtf, dad?" and then he floors you with something amazing.  My mom is the most practical person I know and someday I will write a memoir about her canning blackberries handpicked by me (as a 7 yr old)...not beacuse it was a fun thing or a hip thing or green thing...because it was free and practical.  My mom somehow went from being my mom and her whole identity being a mom to being a multifaceted, complex person and my friend in the past ten years... she is amazing.  My sister who knows every inside joke ("new socks are the shit" "I'm from the Lou and I'm proud") and every drama and every tragedy and every joy... plus she likes to eat vietenemese sandwhiches with me.  Love y'all.
9.  I love new-grass music (like bluegrass but w/ hipper).  Trust me, I'm not cool enough to like this music.  But I do.  (Splitlip Rayfield, The Dewayne Bros, The Asylum Street Spankers, Elexa Dawson, Kasey Rausch etc...)  This being said, I also like rap, pop, country and most top 40 autotune crap.  So, there really is no accounting for taste :)
10.   I believe the words of that country song "God blessed the broken road..."  Because I'm pretty darn content with my hubs, my kids, my job, my house, my basically everything... is it perfect?  No.  But I am content?  yes.  Has it been a journey to get here?  yes.  But worth it all.

Okay, enough of the cheese.

Now to pass the award on.  And I promise your ten random facts need not be as verbose as mine.

2.  Rainy at A Rainy day... 
3.  Tb at Year 31
4.  Debby at Me a homeschooler?
5.  Lily Ruths Mama at Diapers, Dogs & Cooking in Heels
7.  Living Shallow, Living Well at, well, Living Shallow, Living Well
8.  Dianne at My First Blog 
10.  Melissa at Think On It

Oh and my feelings totally would not be hurt if you didn't do this.  

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Sally Field = me...or something

It's the witching hour and I am wide awake.


I slept in this morning and sorta napped (well I took two baths ----excessive, I know --- and so that was restful).  And my home team just kicked Kobe and the Laker's ass.  Thunder Up!!!!!

I started to fight sore throat, sinus pressure and fluid in the ears Fri morning.  I woke up this morning terribly congested and headachy.  By midday, I had cooked bfast, done dishes, picked up the living room (trying to keep up w/ the cleaning from Thur), done several loads of laundry, bathed the kids...and I felt like shit with a migraine coming on.  Have you ever had a migraine and a sinus headache?  Two separate and distinctive headaches at once?  It sucks.  So, I ran a bath.  I knew the terminex man was coming, but it was a 4 hour window for his arrival.  Of course, he arrived ten minutes after I ran the bath so I had to get out.  Luckily, my OTC meds finally kicked in and I even made a target run (sans kids) and went out to eat w/ my parents (w/ kids).  But there was another bath after the kids were asleep.  Now, I finally feel headache less, though still some congestion...and wide awake.

In other news...we took Syds crib down.  She has had a toddler bed and crib in her room for a while and we transitioned her to her toddler bed last weekend and she has done perfectly, so we took down the crib.  It was bittersweet...my baby's not a baby anymore.  Almost makes me want another one...but not quite :)

Earlier this week the hubs was out of town (notice I didn't mention this before or during his time out of town.  I don't think I have any internet stalkers but just in case I didn't want to announce it.  I don't really want my life story to become a made for tv Lifetime movie b/c someone broke into my house and  killed me and disposed of my body in a wood chipper and kidnapped my kids and sold them into white slavery... but if my life did become a made for tv Lifetime movie - but not for being killed just for being me -  can Sally Field play me?  I know she's like 40 years too old, but her performance in Not My Daughter and on Brothers & Sisters every Sunday just blows me away... but I digress....can you tell its midnight?)....

Where was I?

Oh yeah, the O fell asleep on the couch and I carried him back to bed and he said (w/o opening his eyes) "oh I'm just gonna take a little nap."

My heart melted.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

some kind of wonderful

So my last post was fairly depressing.  But I felt it was important.  So I posted it.

I'll try not to be so depressing tonight.

But can I rant first?  And get it out of the way... then we can move on to more frivolous topics...  Thanks!

So, apparently there is a facebook group "praying" for the death of President Obama.  Now, it seems to me about 50% of Americans were not happy with our prior President and the other 50% aren't happy with the current.  But aren't we supposed to be Americans?  And be respectful of the role of the President even if you disagree with their politics.  I mean we have freedom of our own ideas and proper, respectful, healthy channels to express these beliefs.  (And by channels I don't mean FOX or CNN...I mean like going to town hall meeting or joining a civic group.) I figure everyone has a right to their own beliefs and I'm fairly tolerant of others...but I was simply appalled to discover there is a facebook group "praying" for a death of a President. I think you have complete power in choosing your President - VOTE.  If he/she doesn't work out, vote again in 4 years. There are proper channels for discourse and working to find a different solution to public policies - say emailing your congressman or joining a civic group...NOT PRAYING FOR SOMEONE TO DIE.  

That is my 2 cents for whatever it is worth.

Okay, so enough of that.

So...I might be high maintenance.  My first clue...my sbux order:
Iced Quad Non Fat Grande w/ whip Carmel Machiatto

Uh, try saying that out loud before you have had your caffeine...

And I know the whip cream cancels the non fat milk but the non fat tastes better. So there, snobby barista.  I pay your salary.

My second clue... I had someone come clean the house today.  As in I paid someone.

It really isn't like I called Merry Maids.  It is my mom's best friends daughter in law who is a SAHM and just usually does her MIL's house and agreed to tackle mine.

And I'm a little uptight about it.  Not her.  Or the AMAZING job she did.  It is all me being a dumbass and not knowing what proper pay or proper expectations to have or cleaning supplies to have ready or what to ask her to clean.... so I have called and texted the poor girl like 12 times in the past week....just OBSESSING over this going well.  With all my obsessing I am surprised I have not scared her away.  

But I have always been the hired "girl."  My employment from ages 16-21-ish did literally involved me being "the girl."  Like middle class suburban moms saying to their friends "I hired a girl.  Y'know to help with the kids and the laundry and the cleaning and getting the car detailed and going to the dry cleaner."  So, it's a bit bizarre that I am in a position to hire a "girl" even though it's not even like that - more like a friend of a friend doing a small favor.  But it's still weird.  And I'm obsessing again, which only makes it weirder.

But I can just say..it's some kind of wonderful to walk into a clean house smelling like lemons.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

We remember: 4/19/95

Do you remember?

Do you remember where you were on April 19, 1995?

I do.

I was 12 years old.

At 9:02 am, my world, our world was changed forever.

It has been 15 years since the bomb shook downtown Oklahoma City.

It is still shaking us today.

I was a child when this happened, yet the impact on me was so immense. I cried and cried and watched hours and hours of footage. Of the firemen and rescue workers. My heart broke in a million pieces. I was much too young to understand what it meant to be a mom. Nonetheless, my heart was breaking for the parents, of all ages, who lost their children. I wrote a lot of really bad poetry about the bombing, the humanity, the pain, the loss…and the triumph of the human spirit. I’m not sure how normal it was for a 12 year old to obsess over this but I suppose it was in a way a healthy way for me to deal with the complex emotions a tragedy like this brought forth. I had no friends or family member in the building… but, that didn’t stop me from being human and feeling the range of emotions.

The Oklahoma City bombing was the largest act of terrorism on American soil at that time and still the largest act of domestic terrorism. 168 lives, including 19 children (the building housed a daycare) were lost that day.

This photo, of baby girl Baylee still makes me cry (I’m crying as I write this) and makes we want to puke b/c of the sorrow.

1200 rescue workers – from across the country and across the world – the National Guard, firefighters, police officers – came to OKC to help. The outpouring of support was overwhelming. Quickly, we realized that good would come and goodness and light would outshine the evil of the bombing. (Cheesy, yes, but true)

The fence, to protect the public from the debris was put up…and to this day visitors still leave notes, poems, stuffed animals…

This message (sprayed on the wall on the days after and still there at the Memorial site) says it all:

Ten years ago, the Memorial opened and a few years later the Museum. In the past few years downtown OKC and Bricktown has undergone a makeover. We have Fortune 500 companies and a NBA Team and hip new night clubs… our downtown is much more hustle and bustle than 15 years ago. But what stands strong and proud – a silent beacon of peace and hope – in our downtown is the Memorial. 

The chairs, representing the victims, stand dignified. The reflecting pool allows for silent remembrance. And the survivor tree stands with grace. The Survivor tree stands tall and proud to show that inherent goodness we have as a human race.

I like to visit the Memorial at dusk. The lights glimmer faintly as nighttime envelopes the city and the contrast is hauntingly beautiful. I go to the Memorial and I take my children. To remember, to pay honor and to respect those who lost their lives and those who came together as a community to survive.

So the bombing is still shaking us…shaking us to remember to do our best each day to live with love.

I try to teach my children to love. Love those who are the same as you and love those who are different. Perhaps you will not always agree with someone but you should always respect them. I teach my children history. I teach them that evil exists in this world, but they can handle evil if they have faith, hope and love. I teach them about humanity and tragedy. I do my best to show them all the good that has come from this tragedy. I show them the bad too. If we don’t know our history, we are doomed to repeat it.

I ask you too to remember. Remember Baylee. Remember the others who were there that day. Remember the rescue workers. Remember to love someone today.

Slummy Mummy

My two year old daughter (nearly 2 1/2), Sydney (aka Miss Priss aka Miss-Chievous)... seems to be having issues.  Or maybe she is just giving me and her dad-o issues.

The child has a pretty great vocab for her age.  She knows:
1) her colors ("puw-pal" is her fave)
2) her body parts (even tricky ones like elbow and hip)
3) Her name ("S-ninny"), her bubba's name (she says "OOOO-weee") and of course the requisite Mommy and Daddy
4) Animals and animal sounds (dog, cat, barnyard animals like chicken, pig and cow and zoo animals like lion an monkey...heck, she even says "SNAP!" for alligator)
5) Food and drink (especially chocolate milk and cookies... but also banana and apple and good stuff)
6) Basics like up, down, yes, no, please, thank you, hello, goodbye and goodnight
7) Everyday things (park, bike, walk, home, bath, baby, diaper, bed, sleep, kiss, high five, flower, swim)

The child has words.  It's not like she doesn't have words.

Yet when she is sad or mad or wants/needs something...she screams.  She cries.  She wails.  She whines.  She doesn't say "Mommy, I'm hungry.  May I please have a banana?"  Okay, she's 2.  She's not going to say that.  But she is perfectly capable of saying "Banana please" or "want banana."  But noooo.  She breaks into tears and collapses into hysterics at the drop of a hat for no apperant reason whatsoever.  

I do my best to calmly say "Sydney, use your words."  Or help her by saying "Sydney, say 'Mommy, I want' and then tell me what."  I get tired of playing the game "banana?  your brother hit you?  You want to go outside?  You're cold?" until after 20+ questions I figure out what the deal is.

Any suggestions for coaxing my daughter into being a better communicator?  Am I a slummy mummy?  Too impatient?  Demanding too much from a toddler? Perhaps she mostly lets her big bro talk for her?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Why I heart the Walgreens

1.  Smart water - ice cold - in the 33.8 oz size.
2.  Tabloids galore.
3.  Paperbacks - super cheap and super cheesy - just the way I love 'em.
4.  Drugs.  Y'know the good kind.  Like Claritin.  After all, the pollen count around here is so high the meteorologist joked "we need a new scale."
4.  The best skin care and hair care products.  On the cheap.
5.  Make up.  Make up.  Make up.  Did I mention the bright shiny glimmering aisles and aisles of make up at reasonable prices?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I won the lottery! Okay, not really.

So, I'm not even going to acknowledge that I went like 10 days w/o blogging.  I could list out what we did, but that would be immensely boring.  (If you must know there was gardening and more gardening and European sandwiches and camera shopping and lots and lots of whatnot.)

Tonight I bought four powerball tickets.  By sharing that with you, I just jinxed myself and I will not be 175 million dollars richer in 24 hours.  But let's just say I did.  And let's say I paid a shitload of taxes on it.  I'd still be like 75 million richer.  That my friends is nothing to sneeze about.  So, everyone has a "lottery list."  Here's mine

1) Pay off debt: school loans, mortgage, car loans... pay off debt for immediate family (my parents, my in laws, my siblings my hubby's bro).  I have to draw a line somewhere.  I can't pay off debt for some 7th cousin twice removed that I have never even met.  But the immediate fam, I can take care of.  They take care of me after all.  And at this point, I doubt I will have even touched a million.  (Housing is quite affordable around here, y'all)

2) Set up some trust funds.  Like "can't touch until you are 30 and a college graduate and your parents aren't allowed to touch" trust funds for my kids, my nephew and both my nieces.

3) Save that shit.  I doubt I can walk into a local Canadian State Bank and try to deposit 50 mil in a plain old ever day savings account.  Might have to hire an attorney or an accountant or both.  But some sort of IRA or 401K or something.  Something that I can't really touch or see the money and it just sits and grows.  And I get a monthly allowance.  Maybe $10,000 a month?  Seems reasonable seeing as how I will just have normal grocery, gas, electric, cell phone, cable bills.  That still gives me room to buy a crap load of costume jewelry at Forever 21.  Plus, I doubt I'd quit my job (wait, who I am kidding?! )... I'd work in some capacity, so I would have that fundage. 

4) Charity: Autism Speaks and America's Harvest (Regional Food Bank of Ok)... and I am sure plenty more.

5) Okay, now after I have taken care of that practical stuff and ensured that I will not be on one of those "where are they know" programs after blowing 175 million in 5 days...  I can succumb to vanity.  Porcelain veneers (mom, you can have some too!).  Boob job.  (Don't hate.  Y'know you'd be tempted too.)  My dream house...aka The Father of the Bride house.  (I've already downloaded the blueprints, y'all.)  A Disney vacation.  A car with heated seats.  Maybe a Volvo.  Or a Land Lover.  Whatever.  Let the hubs finally get a truck.  

6) Lot's of travel and extended family time.  Making memories.  

So, what's on your lottery list?

Monday, April 5, 2010

Camera's & Mascara

Have you ever sat down and had a conversation with a three year old?  They're delightful.  (Same applies for a two year old, a six year old and when they all talk together.)

I'm in the market for a new camera.  And a new mascara.  Any suggestions?

Here are some Easter pics courtesy of my dad-o.

He isn't giving a Nazi salute, I swear.  He is showing off his green hands.

Isn't the hubs a cutie?

She thinks she's cleverly hiding the chocolate she's trying to gorge on.

I'm a bit windblown.

I didn't post pics of my beautiful niece, mom, sister or m-i-l as I think they actually like their privacy; go figure.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Easter Thunder

Ha!  I am sitting in the brand new recliner, for like the first time, EVER.  It is pure awesomeness.  I also have the laptop.  And while I could be playing any of my tv shows on the dvr (have L&O, L&O SVU, Pro Runway & Grey's) I actually left the tv on SPORTS.  Wait, what?  Okay, I sort of can't change the channel when the Thunder are playing.  Even if the kids are snoozing (at 8?!) and the hubs isn't home.  But the Thunder are kicking ass and we're going to the playoffs and even Snoop loves us:

I mean who doesn't love KD?

So, this am while the hubs had the kids in the bath, the "Easter Bunny" aka ME was busy putting the baskets together.  Then we very carefully made sure no kid wandered into the living room until they were both dressed just so and Syd actually had her hair did and I had my camera ready.  I was ready to take pics of those shiny clean faces smiling and laughing and them in their finest before a day of messiness (egg dye +chocolate = extra stain remover)...and CAMERA FAIL  I changed the batteries like three times and it still will not work.  I managed to get the zoo pics from earlier this week off my memory card but I could not take any pics today.  So no pics til my dad or Aunt Karen post some.

Nonetheless, it was a pretty great Easter.  It was sunny and hit 80 degrees.  Me, the hubs and the kids went to my in laws house along with: the hubs maternal grandma, paternal gpa, his Aunt Karen & Karen's gentleman friend Glenn, Karen's daughter Dianne, my parents, my sister & her hubs and my niece Grace.  And of course my in laws.  So a total of 13 adults and 3 kids.  The hubs cooked the one thing he can cook: a brown sugar honey chipolte ham (it's amazing; and aside from taco salad he makes w/ russian dressing - uh, yeah, I think it's a Baptist cookbook thing - this is the only thing he can actually cook).  I made an amazing salad w/ spinach, field greens, lettuce, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, tomatoes, craisins, almonds, croutons and feta.  We also had deviled eggs, potato salad, fruit salad, a jello red hot salad thing, bread and green bean casserole... oh and cake, of course.  After eating an entire 17 pound ham (that's like a pound a piece, y'all) we dyed eggs.  And Owen dyed his hands green.  He looked like the Hulk.  The hubs, my bro in law and Dianne hid the eggs and the kids searched.  Then the kids hid the eggs and me, my sis and Dianne searched.  

The kids missed their naps so they crashed by 7:30.


My major observation today was as an adult how much Christmas and Easter are alike.  And I don't mean in the obvious religious way or the traditional ham way or the mythical creature bringing toys way.  I mean in the way it exhausts parents.  In the way that you have to get to Target like a month in advance to get the good stuff.  I said screw the premade basket and made my kids individual ones.  Yeah, well, when you do this three days before Easter your kids end up w/ fruit and socks... yeah, I am an amazing mom.  Give me an award now.

Well, the hubs just got home with a thin crust pepperoni and jalapeno pizza (yes we are eating again...and yes we are bachelor-ing up since the kids are asleep.)

Saturday, April 3, 2010


A quick note about yesterday's blog... thank you, everyone for your support.  I had a ton of responses on my facebook and a few here.  Thank you so much for that support.  No one thing happened yesterday to make me feel that way...it was just like the dam burst.  But after that I felt much better.  Today and the rest of this weekend has been a good weekend.  The kids are amazingly adorable in their spring clothes and the outdoor plying.  (Maybe it's just been such long, wet, cold winter we have all gone stir crazy.  This nice weather has been immensely helpful.)

In other news... when I grow up and become a celebrity mommy (oh, wait, I have no plan for that...) I want to be Nicole Richie.  She always looks so chic and hip and on top of her mommy game.

Ignore the writing, I apparently still pics from Perez.  But for real, she looks amazing; this midwestern mommy cannot rock the skinny jean/legging look. 

Happy Easter!

Friday, April 2, 2010


I just deposited my mom at the airport.  She is flying out to p/u my niece and bring her back here.  My niece will spend a week in OK w/ her grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins.  Woot!  She is six and a genius and I have not seen her in two years and miss her desperately (as do my parents) and can't wait for my kids to get to play with her.

Her mom (my ex sister in law... doesn't the ex sound terrible?  I wish there was a nicer term) gets a whole week kid free.  This has got me thinking about how I would spend a whole week kid free...

The hubs and I did everything on fast forward: we had our first date Sept of 05, we married May '06, O was born Oct '06 and Syd in Dec '07.  Y'all are smart, you can do the math.  I realize that we made the choices that led us to basically two years after our first date to having two kids under the age of two.  I am not whining or complaining or blaming or wishing it happened any other way.  I adore my hubs - in all honesty he is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Before I met the hubs I was on the rapid road toward self destruction and he brought me back to my senses.  He is smart and funny and he would walk through fire for me or the kids without one second of hesitation.  He has changed more diapers than I and when I had hemorrhoids in my final pregnancy stages went to walgreens at 1 am to get me cream.  He is an angel.  My children are blessings that make me laugh and cry daily.  They are charming and mischievous and smart and little darlings even when they are are unbelievably bad.  So don't get me wrong, with what I am about to write.

I am not envious of people without kids.  I don't feel sorry for them either.  I'm pretty indifferent.  I am jealous of people who got a year or five with their spouse before having kids.  The years to get to know own another and to go exotic vacations and make love at 2 pm on Saturday and go out to dinner w/o a screamy messy kid or to go see a movie at 11 pm b/c they feel like it.  The hubs and I never had that.  Again, our decision, our choices.  But we have never had a vacation together.  Sure we got a week in Eureka Springs, AR for our honeymoon, but I was five months preggers so long hikes or drinking binges were out.  We did five days in San Antonio when Owen was six months old...with Owen.  We did a long weekend in Dallas last year without the kids.  But no - let's go to NYC or take a cruise or ten days in Mexico or European getaway for us.  And the vacations we have planned anytime for the next 15 years or so will revolve around kid friendly things (which is how it should be).  We will be in our 40's when the kids go off to adulthood, still young enough to travel and go to the movies and enjoy life.  Maybe it will be better to do that stuff in our 40's.  Instead of a drunken debauchery filled trip we can go somewhere and enjoy the quiet and the culture. 

But right now, with two toddlers...two kids who are still learning their vocabulary and even though each day they seem to have a million more words and a 100% better understanding of concepts and emotions than the day before... they still struggle.  They still cry and scream and shit their pants and are so demanding (like hello, kids are).  And they are never still, not even when the sleep.  They are never quiet.  I don't want to break their spirit and I don't want to dampen their imagination.  But I do want them to be well behaved and not scream inside a library or push kids at the playground or to throw their food on the floor at a restaurant.  And sometimes that is a very fine line to walk.

And sometimes I just want some goddamn peace and quiet.  Sometimes I think two hours at the zoo should not make me want to scream or cry or stick my head in the oven.  Sometimes I want the hubs all to myself.  Even if it is just to take a nap or clean the kitchen without two kids wanting a  snack or to "help" us clean or to go out to dinner w/o having to cut up a baby's food or let the kids drink from my water cup and end up w/ backwash... and our extended fam is great about babysitting (thank god for them and I appreciate it so much)....and then the guilt sits in when I think instead of six hours of babysitting would six days be too much?  And then I think six days would be too long w/o my kids, I would miss them desperately.

And I feel so guilty like I am not a good enough mom b/c I don't want to be with them 24/7 and I like my job and going to work.  I feel like a piece of shit for wanting to have that alone time with my hubs.  And the peace and quiet. 

It is a never ending battle. That builds up so when I go to pay for the stuffed animals at the zoo gift shop and I accidentally spill my lemonade I burst into tears.

Please don't misunderstand.  I did not get married b/c I was pregnant.  I knew I had found my soul mate by the end our first date.  Please don't misunderstand that my unplanned pregnancies were unwanted.  They were very much wanted.  Please don't misunderstand that I don't love my kids.  I love them so much it hurts.

I just sometimes just wonder, what it would be like to have a week without them. 

I would probably collapse after day 3 and have to go home to get them for sheer desperation of missing their hot sticky little hands grabbing at me and their sweet little voices of "mommy, I want..."

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Vacay Day 1

Today, thus far, has been somewhat a successful day.

No alarm clock screeching at the ass crack of dawn.  I cannot stress how amazing that is.

The kids were in happy jump up and down laughing moods.  Love it. 

Kids went to preschool for their Easter parties.

I went and got a mani, pedi, eyebrow wax and hair color.  Excessive?  Maybe.  Worth it?  Without a doubt.

Picked kids up, went to the library and the park.  Now we are just hanging until I decide to cook or buy dinner.

Took some pics of the kids before school; went to pick Syd up and she was no longer wearing her cute new outfit.  She had on a cute outfit about a size too small....that I suddenly remembered I packed in her backpack about a year ago for "just in case."  Turns out some kid barfed all over her.  Niiice.

At the park some random lady w/ a kid only slightly older than mine stopped.  It's a neighborhood park and I'm used to having other moms and kids there.  This lady must be a seriously lonely SAHM.  I heard her entire life story: where she went to college, how she meet her hubs, where her hubs works, how her mom has cancer, her dispute with her neighbor... I mean, I am all about meeting my neighbors and making friends and finding playdates w/ my kids... but in a thirty minute span, I find out all that stuff.  Bless her heart.  I liked her well enough, I am sure I will see her around the park again.

So, now for some pics... we have my before/after hair pics and some of the kids being goofy.  Enjoy!

Right after their bath...all shiny and squeaky clean

Syd says "Don't you know - shoes go on your hands!"

My Little Girl Easter Bunny

And my little boy bunny...

My hair in desperate need of a cut (ignore whatever I have on my table - yogurt?  I washed it after the pic)

Haircut w/ new bangs!  And waxed eyebrows!
Side/back view

That's all for now!