We remember: 4/19/95

Do you remember?

Do you remember where you were on April 19, 1995?

I do.

I was 12 years old.

At 9:02 am, my world, our world was changed forever.

It has been 15 years since the bomb shook downtown Oklahoma City.

It is still shaking us today.

I was a child when this happened, yet the impact on me was so immense. I cried and cried and watched hours and hours of footage. Of the firemen and rescue workers. My heart broke in a million pieces. I was much too young to understand what it meant to be a mom. Nonetheless, my heart was breaking for the parents, of all ages, who lost their children. I wrote a lot of really bad poetry about the bombing, the humanity, the pain, the loss…and the triumph of the human spirit. I’m not sure how normal it was for a 12 year old to obsess over this but I suppose it was in a way a healthy way for me to deal with the complex emotions a tragedy like this brought forth. I had no friends or family member in the building… but, that didn’t stop me from being human and feeling the range of emotions.

The Oklahoma City bombing was the largest act of terrorism on American soil at that time and still the largest act of domestic terrorism. 168 lives, including 19 children (the building housed a daycare) were lost that day.

This photo, of baby girl Baylee still makes me cry (I’m crying as I write this) and makes we want to puke b/c of the sorrow.

1200 rescue workers – from across the country and across the world – the National Guard, firefighters, police officers – came to OKC to help. The outpouring of support was overwhelming. Quickly, we realized that good would come and goodness and light would outshine the evil of the bombing. (Cheesy, yes, but true)

The fence, to protect the public from the debris was put up…and to this day visitors still leave notes, poems, stuffed animals…

This message (sprayed on the wall on the days after and still there at the Memorial site) says it all:

Ten years ago, the Memorial opened and a few years later the Museum. In the past few years downtown OKC and Bricktown has undergone a makeover. We have Fortune 500 companies and a NBA Team and hip new night clubs… our downtown is much more hustle and bustle than 15 years ago. But what stands strong and proud – a silent beacon of peace and hope – in our downtown is the Memorial. 

The chairs, representing the victims, stand dignified. The reflecting pool allows for silent remembrance. And the survivor tree stands with grace. The Survivor tree stands tall and proud to show that inherent goodness we have as a human race.

I like to visit the Memorial at dusk. The lights glimmer faintly as nighttime envelopes the city and the contrast is hauntingly beautiful. I go to the Memorial and I take my children. To remember, to pay honor and to respect those who lost their lives and those who came together as a community to survive.

So the bombing is still shaking us…shaking us to remember to do our best each day to live with love.

I try to teach my children to love. Love those who are the same as you and love those who are different. Perhaps you will not always agree with someone but you should always respect them. I teach my children history. I teach them that evil exists in this world, but they can handle evil if they have faith, hope and love. I teach them about humanity and tragedy. I do my best to show them all the good that has come from this tragedy. I show them the bad too. If we don’t know our history, we are doomed to repeat it.

I ask you too to remember. Remember Baylee. Remember the others who were there that day. Remember the rescue workers. Remember to love someone today.

Slummy Mummy

My two year old daughter (nearly 2 1/2), Sydney (aka Miss Priss aka Miss-Chievous)... seems to be having issues.  Or maybe she is just giving me and her dad-o issues.

The child has a pretty great vocab for her age.  She knows:

1) her colors ("puw-pal" is her fave)

2) her body parts (even tricky ones like elbow and hip)

3) Her name ("S-ninny"), her bubba's name (she says "OOOO-weee") and of course the requisite Mommy and Daddy

4) Animals and animal sounds (dog, cat, barnyard animals like chicken, pig and cow and zoo animals like lion an monkey...heck, she even says "SNAP!" for alligator)

5) Food and drink (especially chocolate milk and cookies... but also banana and apple and good stuff)

6) Basics like up, down, yes, no, please, thank you, hello, goodbye and goodnight

7) Everyday things (park, bike, walk, home, bath, baby, diaper, bed, sleep, kiss, high five, flower, swim)

The child has words.  It's not like she doesn't have words.

Yet when she is sad or mad or wants/needs something...she screams.  She cries.  She wails.  She whines.  She doesn't say "Mommy, I'm hungry.  May I please have a banana?"  Okay, she's 2.  She's not going to say that.  But she is perfectly capable of saying "Banana please" or "want banana."  But noooo.  She breaks into tears and collapses into hysterics at the drop of a hat for no apperant reason whatsoever.  

I do my best to calmly say "Sydney, use your words."  Or help her by saying "Sydney, say 'Mommy, I want' and then tell me what."  I get tired of playing the game "banana?  your brother hit you?  You want to go outside?  You're cold?" until after 20+ questions I figure out what the deal is.

Any suggestions for coaxing my daughter into being a better communicator?  Am I a slummy mummy?  Too impatient?  Demanding too much from a toddler? Perhaps she mostly lets her big bro talk for her?

Why I heart the Walgreens

1.  Smart water - ice cold - in the 33.8 oz size.

2.  Tabloids galore.

3.  Paperbacks - super cheap and super cheesy - just the way I love 'em.

4.  Drugs.  Y'know the good kind.  Like Claritin.  After all, the pollen count around here is so high the meteorologist joked "we need a new scale."

4.  The best skin care and hair care products.  On the cheap.

5.  Make up.  Make up.  Make up.  Did I mention the bright shiny glimmering aisles and aisles of make up at reasonable prices?

I won the lottery! Okay, not really.

So, I'm not even going to acknowledge that I went like 10 days w/o blogging.  I could list out what we did, but that would be immensely boring.  (If you must know there was gardening and more gardening and European sandwiches and camera shopping and lots and lots of whatnot.)

Tonight I bought four powerball tickets.  By sharing that with you, I just jinxed myself and I will not be 175 million dollars richer in 24 hours.  But let's just say I did.  And let's say I paid a shitload of taxes on it.  I'd still be like 75 million richer.  That my friends is nothing to sneeze about.  So, everyone has a "lottery list."  Here's mine

1) Pay off debt: school loans, mortgage, car loans... pay off debt for immediate family (my parents, my in laws, my siblings my hubby's bro).  I have to draw a line somewhere.  I can't pay off debt for some 7th cousin twice removed that I have never even met.  But the immediate fam, I can take care of.  They take care of me after all.  And at this point, I doubt I will have even touched a million.  (Housing is quite affordable around here, y'all)

2) Set up some trust funds.  Like "can't touch until you are 30 and a college graduate and your parents aren't allowed to touch" trust funds for my kids, my nephew and both my nieces.

3) Save that shit.  I doubt I can walk into a local Canadian State Bank and try to deposit 50 mil in a plain old ever day savings account.  Might have to hire an attorney or an accountant or both.  But some sort of IRA or 401K or something.  Something that I can't really touch or see the money and it just sits and grows.  And I get a monthly allowance.  Maybe $10,000 a month?  Seems reasonable seeing as how I will just have normal grocery, gas, electric, cell phone, cable bills.  That still gives me room to buy a crap load of costume jewelry at Forever 21.  Plus, I doubt I'd quit my job (wait, who I am kidding?! )... I'd work in some capacity, so I would have that fundage. 

4) Charity: Autism Speaks and America's Harvest (Regional Food Bank of Ok)... and I am sure plenty more.

5) Okay, now after I have taken care of that practical stuff and ensured that I will not be on one of those "where are they know" programs after blowing 175 million in 5 days...  I can succumb to vanity.  Porcelain veneers (mom, you can have some too!).  Boob job.  (Don't hate.  Y'know you'd be tempted too.)  My dream house...aka The Father of the Bride house.  (I've already downloaded the blueprints, y'all.)  A Disney vacation.  A car with heated seats.  Maybe a Volvo.  Or a Land Lover.  Whatever.  Let the hubs finally get a truck.  

6) Lot's of travel and extended family time.  Making memories.  

So, what's on your lottery list?

You have not lived until you played bumper cars in stilettos

Camera's & Mascara

Have you ever sat down and had a conversation with a three year old?  They're delightful.  (Same applies for a two year old, a six year old and when they all talk together.)

I'm in the market for a new camera.  And a new mascara.  Any suggestions?

Here are some Easter pics courtesy of my dad-o.

He isn't giving a Nazi salute, I swear.  He is showing off his green hands.

Isn't the hubs a cutie?

She thinks she's cleverly hiding the chocolate she's trying to gorge on.

I'm a bit windblown.

I didn't post pics of my beautiful niece, mom, sister or m-i-l as I think they actually like their privacy; go figure.

Easter Thunder

Ha!  I am sitting in the brand new recliner, for like the first time, EVER.  It is pure awesomeness.  I also have the laptop.  And while I could be playing any of my tv shows on the dvr (have L&O, L&O SVU, Pro Runway & Grey's) I actually left the tv on SPORTS.  Wait, what?  Okay, I sort of can't change the channel when the Thunder are playing.  Even if the kids are snoozing (at 8?!) and the hubs isn't home.  But the Thunder are kicking ass and we're going to the playoffs and even Snoop loves us:

I mean who doesn't love KD?

So, this am while the hubs had the kids in the bath, the "Easter Bunny" aka ME was busy putting the baskets together.  Then we very carefully made sure no kid wandered into the living room until they were both dressed just so and Syd actually had her hair did and I had my camera ready.  I was ready to take pics of those shiny clean faces smiling and laughing and them in their finest before a day of messiness (egg dye +chocolate = extra stain remover)...and CAMERA FAIL  I changed the batteries like three times and it still will not work.  I managed to get the zoo pics from earlier this week off my memory card but I could not take any pics today.  So no pics til my dad or Aunt Karen post some.

Nonetheless, it was a pretty great Easter.  It was sunny and hit 80 degrees.  Me, the hubs and the kids went to my in laws house along with: the hubs maternal grandma, paternal gpa, his Aunt Karen & Karen's gentleman friend Glenn, Karen's daughter Dianne, my parents, my sister & her hubs and my niece Grace.  And of course my in laws.  So a total of 13 adults and 3 kids.  The hubs cooked the one thing he can cook: a brown sugar honey chipolte ham (it's amazing; and aside from taco salad he makes w/ russian dressing - uh, yeah, I think it's a Baptist cookbook thing - this is the only thing he can actually cook).  I made an amazing salad w/ spinach, field greens, lettuce, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, tomatoes, craisins, almonds, croutons and feta.  We also had deviled eggs, potato salad, fruit salad, a jello red hot salad thing, bread and green bean casserole... oh and cake, of course.  After eating an entire 17 pound ham (that's like a pound a piece, y'all) we dyed eggs.  And Owen dyed his hands green.  He looked like the Hulk.  The hubs, my bro in law and Dianne hid the eggs and the kids searched.  Then the kids hid the eggs and me, my sis and Dianne searched.  

The kids missed their naps so they crashed by 7:30.

Niiice.

My major observation today was as an adult how much Christmas and Easter are alike.  And I don't mean in the obvious religious way or the traditional ham way or the mythical creature bringing toys way.  I mean in the way it exhausts parents.  In the way that you have to get to Target like a month in advance to get the good stuff.  I said screw the premade basket and made my kids individual ones.  Yeah, well, when you do this three days before Easter your kids end up w/ fruit and socks... yeah, I am an amazing mom.  Give me an award now.

Well, the hubs just got home with a thin crust pepperoni and jalapeno pizza (yes we are eating again...and yes we are bachelor-ing up since the kids are asleep.)