A State of Affairs....

5 years ago today.... 

I had the first date with the hubs.

We were suppose to go to the Great State Fair of Oklahoma.

But we drove around the muddy fields for about 30 minutes and no parking to be found.  It seemed the entire state was at the fair checking out the monster trucks, the 4H pigs, riding the decrepit rides, eating fried bacon & chocolate on a stick and drinking beer.  Now in all honesty, that would have been a pretty romantic date.  I was dressed for it in a tank top, a hippie floaty peasant skirt and rope sandals.

But we skipped the fair.  Had we gone who knows how our first date would have gone.  If there would have been a second.  Or an Owen or a Sydney.

We went ahead and went to Charlestons, a local steakhouse.  We ordered the exact same thing: house salad with ranch, loaded baked potato and an 8 oz steak medium well (I now order my steaks medium rare - with each pregnancy I liked the taste of raw meat more and more...must be an iron thing).  The hubs didn't finish all his food so I finished it for him (along w/ mine).  I then devoured a slice of apple pie a la mode.  And then chastised him when he littered his cigarette wrapper out the window of his truck.  And he knew it was love.  

By the time our one year dating anniversary rolled around we had been married 4 months and I was 8 months preggers. 

But before you think it was some shotgun thing...it wasn't.  Not really.  When you know you know.  We pretty much spent every waking moment from the first date together and were engaged by January - before I was preggers.  

Five years later... I am married to my best friend.  He makes me laugh.  I make him laugh - mostly with my ridiculous antics.  I have never been so vulnerable with anyone before - I can be my true self with him - be honest about anything no matter how weird or lame or silly or gross it is.  We have to amazing kids who bring us much exhaustion and much joy.  We have a beautiful home though it is cluttered and messy (but not dirty) and a spastic dog.  

Going on that date was the best thing I ever did.  Well before I married him.  Or had his babies.

(I should really end on that note...but....)

For the past 3 or 4 Saturday mornings I've been woken up by the sound of the kids taking turns in the bathroom ("you can do it Owen!  squeeze my hand!  My turn!"  Okay TMI).  And then they sing their alphabet.  Loudly.  It is a pretty good sound to wake up too.

I'm addicted to iBooks.  I've read 3 Dennis LeHane books in 3 days.  I'm not sure how I'm sleeping at night.

I am feeling much better.  I've had no starbucks in at least 10 days.  I've cut my caffeine back to 1 cup black coffee a day.  The rest of the day is water - so I have drastically increased my water intake.  More fruits and veggies.  More being aware of caloric and nutritional intake.  (Side note: do princess gummie vitamins count for my daily vitamin?  Maybe I should take 2?)  I've been to the gym 10 times in 14 days.  I'm no exercise guru.  Can barely walk a mile and half (no jogging yet)... but it gives me some energy, some confidence.  I am feeling better already.

Now off to enjoy my family.  Hey guess what?  The fair is in town.

A food confession...

I own a scale.  I just never use it.

For the first 23 years of my life I was skinny.  Without trying.  I could eat 3000 calories a day (and often did) without batting an eye or gaining an ounce.  If I weighed a 100 pounds, I was most likely fully dressed with heavy boots and a coat on.  I'm 5'4 so 100 pounds was a bit thin.  But quite honestly, I couldn't gain wait if I tried.  In high school my school counselor was concerned I was anorexic ---- based solely on appearance --- after she saw me eat she thought I was bulimic.  I wasn't.  I had to tell her "those are very serious illnesses and there are girls here at school who suffer....but no me.  Your time is better served helping them."  

I may have been addicted to eating.  Maybe.  I ate full fat, full sugar, full carb everything.  I ate late at night right before bed.  I ate fast food and homemade food and preprocessed junk food.  I love food.  Love it.  I did not discriminate... I liked buttery, salty, sweet, chocolaty... everything.  And don't get me started on the fancy schmancy Starbucks coffees.

When I got preggers at 23 I was like "score now I can 4000 calories a day!"  I may not have accomplished that.  But I did eat candy bars and fast food and fruit and veggies.  I did really eat healthy stuff when preggers.  But also a lot of unhealthy stuff.  I only gained weight in the belly.  I was one of these pregnant women who had the skinny arms, legs, etc that from behind you wouldn't know I was preggers.  I gained exactly 30 pounds.

I managed to lose about 7 pounds after Owen before I got preggo with Syd.  I gained that weight back...but in my hips and butt.  When I delivered Syd I weighed the EXACT same amount as when O had been born...and the kids weighed the exact same amount.

Syd is rapidly approaching 3.  And I have yet to have changed my eating habits.  Or lose any weight.  In fact I have gained weight.

And honestly...until this week I have not minded.  Who cares if I'm a size 10?  Who cares if I have a big booty?  So does J Lo.  I really didn't care.

But then something clicked this week.  I realized that for the past month (if not longer) I have been seriously crabby.  Stressed.  Snappy.  And waaaay sluggish.  Always exhausted.  I realized I was short changing my family with this attitude.  And it just clicked "maybe some fresh foods, less sugar and some exercise would help banish these feelings."

So, I downloaded an app on my phone that helps me track my daily caloric intake as well as all the vitamins and nutrients.  This has really put it in my face and helped me be more conscientious about what I eat and how often.  I haven't even had Starbucks in a week.  Black coffee only.  Haven't been as good about the fruits and veggies as I should but I'm progressing.  I haven't been as good at water but I've been better.  I have for sure decreased my amount of consumption, if only by a smidge.

Two nights this week I went on a mile long walk around the neighborhood.  Nothing earth shattering.  But it was two miles more than I have ever walked.  (I know, that's sad.)  Then...I joined a gym.  With my mom.  We joined on Thursday and I worked out (and by work out I mean I went 4 miles on the bike and did some of the weigh machines...)  I went last night as well and did the treadmill, the bike and some of the weight things (arm pres, etc).

I haven't lost any weight yet.  But it has been only 4 days.  And I've been taking baby steps.  I am feeling some better.  I just know, if I stick to it... I will fell better.  I just got to do it.  For me.  For my kids.

9021-OH!

So, I was sort of confused as to why all my friends on facebook changed their names to David Silver and Andrea Zuckerman and Brandon Walsh until I realized today was 9/02/10.  It took me a minute.

In other news, the kids started school again.  Here are 1st day pics:

Super cheesy grins; Syd's baby is doing the Jersey Shore fist pump; also the baby is named Hairy.

He is nearly 4 and getting so tall

Yes, she is fierce.  The girl will cut you.

Still fierce despite the sun in her eyes.

This could only happen to me

Or anyone really.  But that doesn't sound near as exciting.

I took the kids to the zoo today (it was a playdate w/ Halley and her momma too).

It was a great day to go b/c it was the middle of the week, after school started and it was really overcast.  Not cool though, it was waaaay humid.

We had a fantastic time.  Our zoo has a new childrens area which is freaking awesome.

They even have an area that is like a mini spray ground.  The kiddos ran and played in the water for a good half hour and were soaked to the bone.  (This is about the time the sun came out and the temp went from 85 and humid to 92 and humid...also, we had been at the zoo 3 hrs and this was the last stop.)  Luckily, I had packed a change of clothes for each kid in case of a potty accident (though Syd has never had a potty accident which is bizarre but wonderful and Owen hasn't had one in a few days).  So, I stripped the kids down out of their wet clothes and put on dry clothes.  But the only place to put the wet clothes was the diaper bag.  Except my kids don't wear diapers so I use one of those reusable grocery bags.  And who wants to carry a purse at the zoo?  so the bag had sippies, snacks, my ph and money and after the spray ground some really wet clothes.

Well guess what?  Really wet clothes that touch a blackberry?  Yeah, my phone is dead and gone.

I have a ipod touch at home so once we got home I got on it and emailed the hubs.  (I guess I could have used the laptop but I really like my ipod touch.)  I think *hope* when he gets home from work I can go get a iPhone.  I had my blackberry 2 years and the hubs has an iphone and I like the iphone better.  We shall see though.

I also came home with a migraine...but several excedrin later I am doing better.

But for real, who would have thought wet clothes would ruin a phone?